shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
