shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
