It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
