So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
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Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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