Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
