So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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