There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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