it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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