Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Girls should come with a carfax report
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
