Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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