The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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