Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize