Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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