why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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