Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
