I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
