The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize