Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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