Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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