he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
