Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
