remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
is that a dick in a sweater?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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