He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
