Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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