she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
