i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize