I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
