She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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