he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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