is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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