while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
