Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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