Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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