you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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