I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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