He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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