He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
