it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
