how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
