...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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