CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
