I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
