the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize