his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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