Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How naked do you want me to be?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
