Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
