have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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