I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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