maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
