dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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