I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
