You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
