I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i think im in europe. pls send help
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
