Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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