Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
