I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
