i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so that wasnt chicken after all
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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